South Park: The Stick of Truth

For the last time Mr. Gore, no, you didn't.

The humans had the Stick of Truth, and then the blasted Night Elves stole it.  Now it is up to one new adventurer to take back the stick for the humans.  Or to help the elves.  Or maybe there's a more sinister plot afoot.

Either way, this story will involve a lot of fart jokes.

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Recommended Age Minimum Age Available On... 18 16 PC, Xbox 360, PS3 Overall Fun Length Frustration   Violence Sexuality Substances Gambling 9 6 1   8 10 5 0 Mods Religion Anti-Law Community Sports Magic Miscellaneous 0 3 0 0 0 4 10

1.     Gameplay

• Overall Fun - 9

Whether or not you like this game will boil down to a very simple question: “Do you like South Park?”  If you do, you’ll love this game and find it hilarious.  If you don’t, you’ll hate this game and find it unintelligent, crude, and possibly downright disgusting.  The humor in this game is frequently crass, low-brow jokes that boys make to each other when girls aren’t around.  The creators of South Park have a particular style of humor and they have honed it to perfection.

This is a screenshot from the game, not an episode of South Park.

Unfortunately there is a slight catch.  Even if you like South Park, the creators of this game took a significant amount of time and effort to reference almost every single South Park episode ever created.  That’s not an exaggeration, I found references to almost every episode I have watched.  If you haven’t watched every episode of the show, you’re going to feel out of the loop on much of the humor.  The few jokes that I didn’t get I knew should be funny, but I didn’t know how.  If you don’t watch every episode you can still enjoy the game, but you won’t enjoy it nearly as much.

The variety of weapons, armor, consumables, and abilities in this game is surprisingly large and all very unique.  The developers of this game managed to make a better RPG on their first try than many veteran studios do after multiple attempts.  This is a great game even without the South Park elements.  The combat is constantly engaging, the party members have unique abilities and sayings, there are plenty of weapon types with unique effects and tons of upgrades for both weapons and armor.  While I expected this game to be amusing, I never expected it to be so well made.

I know it seems bad to beat up on dogs, but this is a rabid junkyard dog, so it's ok.

There are only a few minor things that I would love to see in a sequel.  First, while I know this game is supposed to be about the boys playing humans and elves together, it would have been nice to include a female character.  The game somewhat satisfies this by allowing the player to dress their character in girl’s hair and clothes (and since the base character models for both genders are the exact same thing this works well).  Second, and probably more prominent, it would have been nice to be able to fill a party instead of just having the main character and his single companion.  Maybe this was the original idea, but I was a bit jealous when I had to fight up to six or more enemies in a battle and I could only pick a single friendly character to help fight.

I wanted to use more characters, but I tended to stick with the people I started with.

Third, the extra damage buffs were the only way to beat certain fights.  Often times I would deal 600 damage from a single hit but the subsequent bleeding damage would do 3000 damage to my target.  It felt a bit cheap when my attacks weren’t actually what was killing the enemy.

Overall these are very minor though.  If you don’t mind the subject matter and the mature content, this is a hilarious game!

• Length - 6

This game took me around 12 hours to complete, but it feels like a lot more.  There are a ton of references and places to explore in this game.  Unfortunately, aside from the initial character class selection, there are very few real choices in this game.  That, coupled with the lack of cooperative and online gameplay significantly reduces this game’s replay value.

There is some replay value in the achievements, many of which require the player to go through the game in an unconventional way.  I appreciate these types of achievements and, if I was so inclined, would definitely replay this game to unlock them.

• Frustration Factor - 1

There was very little about this game that was frustrating.  Every enemy type can be beaten with the right combination of attacks and abilities.  Powers and upgrades are all very straightforward.  There’s often an overabundance of potions and other consumables.  While I did fail one or two fights, I never really felt outclassed by my opponents.

2.     Parental Notices

• Violence - 8

Violence in this game varies depending on the situation and characters.  Most of the time the player will be engaged in simple, turn-based fantasy combat with other characters.  Most attacks will cause bright magical flashes, a small puff of smoke, or other similar effects.  Most of these attacks do not cause any visible blood.

Feel the backhand of justice!

That isn’t to say that normal attacks can’t cause blood.  Certain weapons and abilities can cause bleeding damage, which causes the target to bleed somewhat profusely.  This was one of the most effective extra effects, so I found myself favoring weapons that used this effect.

I don't think the blood was real though.

Another effective element was “fire”.  If an enemy was hit by a weapon with fire damage, the enemy would light on fire (and sometimes run around in a panic).  However, no additional damage was caused by this fire.

Ugh, Mongolians.

On rare occasions the player could see or cause enemies to pulverize into a splatter of blood.  If the player used a power attack against a small enemy, there was a chance that the enemy would simply get squished.  The Nazi zombie cows would also commit suicide by blowing up belts of dynamite when they were close to the player.  This caused a shower of blood and cow bits to go everywhere.

Easiest battle ever.

While the children never have significant blood or gore when injured, the adults are a different matter entirely.  Once the Nazi zombies begin to take over town, random bodies could be seen around town.  These bodies would frequently be covered in blood or have body parts hanging off.  The other characters walked around without noticing this.

Nothing to see here, move along.

There were also a few scenes where adult characters were shot, torn apart, or otherwise killed in gruesome ways.  These deaths sometimes involved significant amounts of blood and gore.

There are few things like a giant Nazi zombie fetus tearing a man in two.

• Sexuality - 10

I don’t even know where to start with this section.  I have to separate out some of the “normal” sexuality stuff, which can be found in this section, from the “abnormal” elements which can be found in the “Miscellaneous” section.  While they both fall under the category of “sexuality” there were some specific events that went way beyond what I would normally include in this section.

Sexuality wasn’t as common in this game as violence, but when it was included it was not subtle at all.  In one mission, the most obvious example of sexuality in this game, the player must fight the underwear gnomes as the main character’s parents have sex in the background.  The image is uncensored, but mildly blurred by the darkness and the distance.

So that's where babies come from.

Eventually the player chases the gnome warlock onto the bed where the battle continues.  The player eventually has to avoid his father’s testicles, which come flying during the middle of the battle.

Duck!

The player can find a number of prophylactics, marital aids, and other objects used for sex.  These are usually at specific character’s homes.

I'm not sure I want to know what the "Purple Passion" does.

When the player goes to Canada, he can walk in on a couple having sex.

I'm not your buddy, pal.

The player can also open doors to random people’s houses.  In one, a man is masturbating under a blanket.  In another, a woman is just standing around completely naked.  The player can see her exposed breasts, but she quickly covers everything else before closing the door.

Who just walks around their house naked with the doors unlocked?

In the final section of the game, the player must shrink himself down and enter Mr. Slave’s anus in order to detonate a thermonuclear device.  This adventure takes place entirely within Mr. Slave’s digestive system.  Used condoms, semen, sex toys, and other random objects (including a cell phone and some bats) can be found inside Mr. Slave’s intestines.

Well at least we know what happened to Mr. Hat.

At the end of the game the strange, sinister, Nick Fury-like antagonist manages to get hold of the Stick of Truth.  After learning about the powers the boys say it has, the man strips completely naked.

Why. Seriously, why.

There is also a mission where the player must pretend to perform an abortion on Stan’s dad.  I’m not exactly sure how the main character managed to convince a few government agents that he just gave a man an abortion, but there was a vacuum pump involved.

This seems painful and unnecessary.

• Substances - 5

There are a number of substances that make an appearance in this game.  The most common ones are the various “potions” that the player can use in combat.  These are all food and beverages that give minor in-combat effects (such as restoring health, mana, “power points”, or reviving fallen allies).

It's like a tavern, but with sports drinks and soda.

Much of the plot revolves around a green toxic substance that turns all creatures, living and dead, into Nazi zombies.  The player will see this substance used on numerous occasions.

It's green sauce from Taco Bell.

There are other substances that make occasional appearances.  The most benign of these is the “gnome dust” that the player gets in the second half of the game.  The player snorts the dust up a nostril and then ends up shrinking down to a significantly smaller size.  This substance has no other effects.

Ms. Cartman, Eric’s mom, has a bong and cocaine in her room.  However, the player can never use either of these objects.

Looks like all the ingredients necessary for a party.

In one mission the player is required to get some cigarettes and coffee so that he can fit in with the goth kids.  The player eventually has to complete a DDR style dancing minigame where he smokes a cigarette and drinks coffee while “dancing”.

So dark, so moody.

In another mission, the player has to go and get a package of an ingredient for the local coffee company.  It turns out that the ingredient is methamphetamine, which the player must take from some meth heads and give to the coffee company.

This doesn't look anything like Breaking Bad.

• Gambling - 0

Gambling is not a factor in this game.

3.     Other Factors

• Mods - 0

There are no modding tools available for this game.

• Religion - 3

Religion is included in various parts of the game but, for the most part, is fairly minor.  The most prominent example is the “Jew” character class.  This class is an odd mix of a fighter and a mage, with some pretty awesome magical abilities.  Eventually this class unlocks the ability “Plagues of Egypt”, which causes four of the deadly plagues to rain down on the enemy.  It’s a pretty powerful attack.

The town also includes a church where the player will eventually have to find Jesus.  I mean this in the literal sense since Jesus decides to play hide and seek.  If the player does manage to find Jesus twice, Jesus becomes a summonable character in almost any combat scenario.

Tithe.

The local priest is also included in the game (he is the one that gives the player the quest to find Jesus).  If the player looks in the drawers of the priest’s office, he will find a boy-sized leash (implying pedophilia).

The player will also have to fight a Canadian bishop (or cardinal or something like that).  This battle goes on in a church.

The power of Christ compels you!

• Anti-Law - 0

While many of the acts in this game may break some sort of public decency laws, the idea of “law enforcement” in this game is extremely blurry.  Therefore, anti-law is not a factor in this game.

• Online Community - 0

There are no multiplayer modes for this game.

• Extreme Sports - 0

Extreme sports are not a factor in this game.

• Magic - 4

Magic plays a significant role in the combat of this game.  Almost all of the player’s attacks and abilities will be magically based or enhanced.  The player can add on lightning, fire, “gross out” (essentially poison), and a few other effects to weapons and armor in order to increase damage against certain enemy types.

His paper hat is on fire, but not burning. That amuses me.

The player and his companions also have special abilities, some of which are magical.  For example, Butters can turn into Professor Chaos, who can use a number of magical abilities to damage his enemies.

Bwahahaha!

The player can also use “gnome dust” to shrink himself down to the size of an underwear gnome.  However, other than the gnome dust, magical abilities and attacks only seem to be present during combat despite their relative frequency.

• Miscellaneous - 10

Language

Language is a significant factor in this game.  Almost all of the characters swear frequently in any given conversation.  It’s seriously everywhere.  If you have ever seen an episode of South Park, you’ll know exactly what I mean with this.

Best protest ever.

I’m not going to bother trying to describe it because, frankly, it’s everywhere.  If you haven’t seen an episode of the show, go watch one (they’re free online at comedycentral.com).  You’ll know what I mean.

Bestiality

On very rare occasions the concept of bestiality is shown or discussed.  The most obvious of this was behind a door to a random house.  I opened the door to find a guy in a leather mask (presumably) having sex with a horse.  He screamed and shut the door.

Oh. Wrong house.

BDSM

BDSM (Bondage/Domination/SadoMasochism) is depicted or discussed on certain occasions with certain specific characters.  This is most noticeable with Mr. Slave, who is clearly designed to be an extreme “submissive”, has a garage practically full of BDSM equipment.

The alien’s anal probing would also fall into this category (kind of).  Both the player and Stan’s dad are kidnapped by aliens and anally probed.  The player manages to break free by tightening his sphincter muscles to break the device.

Why are aliens so obsessed with humanity's rear?

“Inadvisable Behavior”

There’s only one other game where this is included as a category (you can search it on this site if you really want to, but I don’t recommend it).  Essentially, the player has the opportunity to defecate in pretty much any toilet (or urinal in some cases) in the game.  This initiates a sort of minigame.  If the player successfully completes the short minigame, the player can “open” the toilet and take out the result.  The result can be used as a throwable item during combat to gross out enemies.

Please don't touch that.

Pedophilia

There is one brief part where the player has to get a passport so that he can enter Canada.  When he goes to get his passport photo, the photographer asks him to change (after all, the player is likely wearing some sort of absurd questing-related costume).  If the player accepts, the photographer then asks him to take off his shirt.  If he accepts, the photographer asks him to take off his pants.  If the player agrees, the photographer asks him to take off his underwear.  However, before the player has an option, a different man (who was clearly beaten) jumps out and confronts the photographer.

What is going on?

Weapons of Mass Destruction

At the end of the game the player has to disarm a “snuke”.  Without trying to be too descriptive, a snuke is a nuclear bomb that has been inserted into someone’s “lower regions”.  If the player chooses to not try and disarm the snuke, the bomb detonates and a mushroom cloud is shown.

Poof.